The thing about cats is that they probably are the perfect pet, so of course I am allergic to them. So is Child 1. I think she is even more allergic than me. She spent the night last night at a home with a cat and now she is miserable and full of Benadryl and very sleepy because not only does Benadryl make you sleepy, but she couldn't sleep because she was sneezing all night long because of the cat. And of course it is all my fault because I did not think to ask if they had a cat before I let her spend the night and I am the Mother and so everything is always my fault.
It is always my fault. Because I am the Mother. I have accepted this fact for as long as my children have been alive. When they fall and hurt themselves, it is my fault. When my husband dropped Child 1 while playing skin the cat and she landed on her face and lost two teeth, it was my fault, even though I was across the room and had warned him not to do it. And when I tell them to do their homework and remind them over and over again that their project is due soon and they had better get started on it and they don't and then they have to stay up all night and they are cranky and get a bad grade, that is also my fault. Husband is in Afghanistan, and that is also, apparently, my fault.
Some thing are my fault, like the very bad decision to get a light colored carpet in our second home because you can't hide root beer stains (which were not my fault,) and the lavender cupcakes that the children said tasted like soap, and the time I used the wrong floor cleaner and the linoleum got all sticky. Those were all my fault. Husband being in Afghanistan is not my fault, but he is not here, so I am the only parent left to blame.
But back to cats. Cats would be the perfect pets because they would leave me alone. The Dog does not leave me alone. She decided immediately after we brought her home that I was the alpha dog and she would shower me with attention until she won me over. This is so not the way to win my affection. And she is always under my feet so that I am always tripping over her which is bad because China broke both my ankles and they have never been the same since. But a cat would not bark at shadows, or destroy all the Hello Kitty dolls in the house, or make me walk her in the rain. I want a dog that is a cat.
Today, I took two of the children to the Department to get medals because their father is a hero and volunteered to go to Afghanistan. And it is true that he is in a very dangerous place and that he will work hard and be very lonely and have to wear body armor. But I am here, so no matter what happens, it will still be all my fault, unless somehow I can blame it on the British fashion industry.
Today, everyone in Aurora, Colorado is having a worse day. For some of them, it is The Worst day. My heart goes out to you all and you are in my prayers. What a horrible way to be reminded that Afghanistan is not the only place where people can be in danger.
It is always my fault. Because I am the Mother. I have accepted this fact for as long as my children have been alive. When they fall and hurt themselves, it is my fault. When my husband dropped Child 1 while playing skin the cat and she landed on her face and lost two teeth, it was my fault, even though I was across the room and had warned him not to do it. And when I tell them to do their homework and remind them over and over again that their project is due soon and they had better get started on it and they don't and then they have to stay up all night and they are cranky and get a bad grade, that is also my fault. Husband is in Afghanistan, and that is also, apparently, my fault.
Some thing are my fault, like the very bad decision to get a light colored carpet in our second home because you can't hide root beer stains (which were not my fault,) and the lavender cupcakes that the children said tasted like soap, and the time I used the wrong floor cleaner and the linoleum got all sticky. Those were all my fault. Husband being in Afghanistan is not my fault, but he is not here, so I am the only parent left to blame.
But back to cats. Cats would be the perfect pets because they would leave me alone. The Dog does not leave me alone. She decided immediately after we brought her home that I was the alpha dog and she would shower me with attention until she won me over. This is so not the way to win my affection. And she is always under my feet so that I am always tripping over her which is bad because China broke both my ankles and they have never been the same since. But a cat would not bark at shadows, or destroy all the Hello Kitty dolls in the house, or make me walk her in the rain. I want a dog that is a cat.
Today, I took two of the children to the Department to get medals because their father is a hero and volunteered to go to Afghanistan. And it is true that he is in a very dangerous place and that he will work hard and be very lonely and have to wear body armor. But I am here, so no matter what happens, it will still be all my fault, unless somehow I can blame it on the British fashion industry.
Today, everyone in Aurora, Colorado is having a worse day. For some of them, it is The Worst day. My heart goes out to you all and you are in my prayers. What a horrible way to be reminded that Afghanistan is not the only place where people can be in danger.
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