Thursday, February 28, 2013

Bad Day 233--Time keeps on slippin'

How come time speeds up the moment I get home and I never end up having enough time to accomplish anything? I ordered Chinese the minute I got home at 6 and now it's 8:30 and I have accomplished nothing. Nothing! OK, I ate dinner but that's not really accomplishing anything. And I ordered something new from the Chinese place because I'm tired of moo goo gai pan, and of course, as soon as I took a bite I could tell it was made with wheat. Egg foo young is delicious, btw, but apparently full of soy sauce, so now we're going to try to make it at home.

I would cook more at home, but there's that whole time problem. And then there is the whole homework thing. It's killing me. Really. I'm so tired of homework because this is how it goes in my house:

Are you doing your homework?
Child 1/2/3, did you start your homework?
I can hear the Wiii!
Is anybody listening and who has homework?
Alright, I'm coming up there!
Okay, okay, OKAY! I'll do it! Stop yelling! Why do you hate me? Can't I please stay home from school? My teacher hates me! I hate school! Can't you just home school me?

Apparently, the children think that if they were home schooled, they wouldn't have any homework. But home schooling is all homework by definition. Also, if they won't even do their chores when I ask, how on earth would I get them to learn anything. I totally believe in out-sourcing their education. Plus, I hate Algebra. I rock at history, though.

OK, we have to talk about Dennis Rodman because he is so having a worse day than me.


He is  in North Korea filming a documentary for HBO about "basketball diplomacy." I think they think basketball will open up the Hermit Kingdom like ping pong did for China. But here is the problem--basketball isn't a North Korean sport and it would look pretty foolish for a bunch of American basketball players to go to North Korea and pretend to play badly enough to lose to the DPRK national team which is what they would need to do to make the North Koreans happy. I mean, I'm a not so youngish woman and I could probably still stuff most North Koreans. I would look like an idiot trying to play badminton against them, though, because that is their thing. And archery. And weight lifting. And boxing. They are awesome at boxing. And lots of other sports that they actually play there of which basketball probably isn't one. So enjoy your trip, Mr. Rodman. And you know all those people laughing in this photo? They are laughing at you, not with you. And they are thinking (correctly) what kind of idiot wears sunglasses indoors? But thank you, Mr. Rodman, for reminding me to be grateful that I actually know what real diplomacy is, and it is not being chummy with dictators. That is just being misguided.


  1. Wait, what do you mean I hate school?

    -Child 2

  2. Accomplishments are overrated. Pizza is not.


  3. I thought those exact things when I saw this photo too. WHAT is he doing there, and when will he figure out they are laughing AT him?

    Hang in there with the food thing, Jen. I'm so impressed with what you are figuring out for yourself. I know it isn't as satisfying as brownies, but feeling better has got to worth more than that. :)

  4. Those were quotes from all three of you. If you want, I'll give you one specific to you.

    Me: It doesn't count as an apology if you are yelling.