I am a good driver. I have never had an accident while driving. Parking is another matter but I was a teenager, so that shouldn't count. But anyway, I'm a good driver, but I'm a horrible passenger. The kind like my grandmother who was blind and yet still insisted on telling my grandpa to slow down, move over, go faster, what are you waiting for, you're going to hit that car. I so loved my grandmother that I have turned into her. I am constantly gasping and stepping on an imaginary break as if somehow my stomping on the floor is going to magically stop the car and prevent whatever imaginary accident Husband or Child 1 are going to get into. It's so annoying that I would never ever want to ride with me anywhere, and yet I can't help it. I have resorted to sitting in the back seat and playing on my iPod so I can't see or hear the traffic. It's an OK strategy except that I'm supposed to be teaching Child 1 to drive, not hiding in the back seat. But someday soon, Child 1 will have a license and then I can just stand on the side of the road and wave as she drives off. I can't wait.
Lindsay Lohan is having a worse day than me again.
She is off the hook for theft once more, but she ran up a $46,000 hotel bill and then didn't pay it. Yep. Her hotel bill was twice the amount I got paid for my first full-time job. I actually feel quite bad for Lindsay. She was such an adorable kid, and now she's a national joke. So thank you, Lindsay, for reminding me that integrity is important and I will never get kicked out of a hotel for not paying the bill. Also, you spent way too much on the mini-bar.