Friday, August 31, 2012

Bad Day 52--I want one of those!

I can no longer deny the fact that I'm losing weight. I haven't stepped on a scale yet, and I probably won't until I'm forced to. But my skirt doesn't fit anymore and it should. It's so loose that it kept falling down and I had to keep hiking it back up, and nothing ruins a cute outfit like tugging at it every 5 seconds. So I improvised and held it up with one of those big metal spring clips that you hold reams of paper together with. Yes, ladies, a new use for office supplies! It wasn't pretty, but it didn't fall down while I was walking to catch the subway home, so who cares. But since the skirt fit fine when I bought it and now it is way too loose, either I am losing weight, or the British fashion assassins have invaded my home and stretched out all my clothing.

The problem is that those sneaks did a great job. I appear to have lost just enough that my clothes don't fit, but not enough to actually be a size smaller. So now nothing fits. But ha ha, you fashion assassins have failed because I have a solution! Wrap dresses. They fit no matter what size you are, so take that you measly few pounds! You will not defeat me! Now, I know that you few optimists out there who read this blog will say that I should be happy for losing weight, especially since I have been trying to since I was 11. But you underestimate my ability to find something to gripe about and besides that I have nothing to wear, I'm losing weight because of the stress, so it won't last. And I refuse to buy new skinny clothes that I just won't fit into next year. So wrap dresses, here I come! I have five, so that should last me until I can buy more office supplies to hold up the rest of my clothes--maybe staples would work, too.

Tonight, Husband and I went on our last grown-up date before he leaves on Tuesday. The rest of the weekend will involve children, so we went to see The Dark Knight and I loved it. I totally need one of those motorcycles, and a leather catsuit, but it will need to have a lot of lycra (like all the lycra in America) in it to make me look like Cat Woman. But I think I could at least pull off the mask.

But the best thing about the movie was actually the trailer for Argo which is the true story of how Tony Mendez from the CIA exfiltrated 6 consular officers from Iran in 1979. That's right. The CIA saved the visa staff! I'm just sad the movie is rated R because Child 1 really wants to see it because I have told her about this story for years. So I'll just buy her the book instead: The Master of Disguise: My Secret Life in the CIA by Antonio Mendez.

Vanessa Steer in Devon, England is having a worse day than me. Her husband, who is retired and apparently has not enough to do, has excavated a medieval well. Now, I know you are thinking that amateur archaeology is a fine hobby to have, which may be true. The problem is, he did his excavations in their living room. So now, they have this in their parlor.

Mrs. Steer is not happy about it and I am fully on her side on this one. So thank you, Mr. Steer, for reminding me to be grateful that Husband has never excavated a well in my house.

1 comment:

  1. I've heard of folks who keep an elephant in their living room...