Sunday, October 14, 2012

Bad Day 96--My best friend

My best friend is a pot, a crock-pot to be exact.

(Listen Husband, I know you think it's you, but that pot has never left me for Afghanistan, and it can take a really cheap cut of meat and turn it into something amazing, which is really not your specialty, so quit being jealous.) I mentioned my amazing roasting pan before and it makes the best roast beef and vegetables. But the deal with the roasting pan is that it does best with the more expensive cuts of meat. But my workhorse of a crock-pot works miracles on the cheap stuff, and the cheaper, the better. The only thing is that it can only cook things well-done and I hate well-done beef.

Growing up, I only knew well-done meat and I never really could understand why my family was in love with steak when it was gray and chewy and dry. Then after I was married and trying to learn how to cook things that Husband would eat, I watched a lot of cooking shows and I heard someone say that beef should be rare and no foodie would ever order anything but and that when someone orders a well-done steak, the restaurant always gives them the worst piece of beef they have. So I tried ordering medium-rare and the steak was tender and juicy and amazing, and no offense to my family who likes the gray steaks, but I will never go back. Never. Except if we move back to Asia where they don't know what roast beef is and they have the weirdest cuts of meat you have ever seen and the ovens aren't big enough for my fabulous roasting pan.

But back to the crock pot, the thing it does best is chicken and pork. Here is my favorite recipe. Buy the cheapest pork roast you can find. Brown it first. Fill the bottom of the crock pot with carrots, potatoes, and onions. Put the roast on top. Add two cans of cream of mushroom soup and an envelope of Lipton onion soup mix. Turn the crock-pot onto high and leave it. Depending on how big your roast is and how many vegetables you have, it will take 5-7 hours. It is done when the meat pulls apart with a fork. It's amazing and it is now my favorite way to cook pork. It works just as well with chicken but don't leave the skin on and boneless is way better so you don't have to pick out bones and cartilage which is icky.

These UC-Berkeley law students are having a worse day than me.

The went to Vegas, got wasted, and then killed an exotic bird at the Flamingo Hilton by decapitating it. First, ick and that poor bird! And second, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas only in the sense that they are now in jail and facing felony charges. Guess they weren't paying attention in criminal law. So good luck boys, and thank you for reminding me yet again that being drunk and criminally stupid makes you a national joke, and I'm very grateful that I will never be that dumb. Ever. Seriously!


  1. Remember how I always got ham and could never understand why Sister 1 got steak? I got a steak medium rare in college and finally understood. Been ordering it that way ever since.
    Love ya, Brother

  2. Brother, I always suspected you were the smartest of us all. This is concrete proof. Why didn't I think of ordering ham instead?