Monday, February 11, 2013

Bad Day 216--What did you just say?

Phrases that strike fear into every mother's heart:

  1. I didn't mean to!
  2. You know that vase you loved that was your Grandma's?
  3. Where is the carpet cleaner?
  4. Does carpet cleaner work on crayon?
  5. What if the crayon is melted?
  6. Where are the sharpies?
  7. So there's this boy. . .
These are phrases that make steam come out of my ears.
  1. You said I could!
  2. I don't want to.
  3. Nobody told me.

OK, we have to talk about that last one because that one is the absolute worst. I cannot stand it when the children won't take responsibility when they've done something wrong and trying to blame me by implying that it is my fault they didn't know they couldn't watch TV until 3 am on a school night/eat the pie I made for a dinner party/borrow my sewing scissors to cut glue sticks. Some things should not have to be said out loud.

Now, I have to say that my children have learned over time not to use that excuse and I hardly ever hear it anymore. Except at work. Not in my current job where most people are grown-ups, but you would not believe how many "adults" use that as an excuse and actually think it is going to work! I am telling you right now that if you call up customer service to complain that your computer is broken because nobody told you not to wash your keyboard in the dishwasher, they are going to mute the phone because they are laughing at you and then they aren't going to help you. Not even a little bit, unless you consider e-mailing your conversation to everyone in the entire company so they can also laugh is helpful.

Everyone in Sao Paulo Brazil is having a worse day than me because they are living with this.

See those black dots? Those are not specks of dirt or water on the lens. They are spider. Seriously. Millions of spiders hanging from telephone wires. Apparently, they are "social spiders" and they like to get together in the evening and hang out and spin webs collectively. Locals say it's a common sight. So thank you, Brazilians, for making me grateful that there weren't any positions in Brazil to bid on this last time. And I will definitely think twice before bidding there ever because spiders, more than anything else on earth, give me the willies. I'm shivering just thinking about them.

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