Saturday, May 11, 2013

Bad Day 305--I win!

Today, just for one day, I am the most amazing mom on the planet. Child 3 and I had a great time shopping at the mall and bought all the birthday presents we needed, plus some clothes for ourselves. You may remember that Child 3 is a champion shopper. At age 10, she says things like look at the way that shirt flares out at your hips. It makes your waist look really small! She is a fashionista of the first magnitude and is well on her way to becoming a glamazon because we all hope she will be really, really tall. She already has super long legs. All the children do--they get them from Husband and I am so very glad because my legs are not that long. But they get their hair from me, so it's all good. She has an excellent chance of looking a lot like this when she grows up.

But the shopping isn't why I'm amazing--it's the surprise party that really put me on the map. See I planned and gave the most awesome party for her! OK, I didn't plan it all and I didn't actually throw it, but I did contact her best friend and ask her to help me throw one and the best friends really came through and put together a huge party and her birthday isn't until next week, so she had no idea. And sweet girl that she is, she was trying to get me to go Mother's Day shopping with her at the mall and I was trying desperately to figure out a way to not go and get her to the best friend's house. But the friends came through with a story about a project and a picture of Child 1 that they needed, and we finally got her to the right place to have her party. And she was genuinely surprised and very, very happy. So right now, for this moment, I am the best. parent. ever. Too bad it won't last.

I have this theory that time is magnetic, and it is the polar opposite of what you want it to be. So when you want moments to stay--they are repelled. And when you want time to move faster, it is attracted with tremendous force and the weight of it makes it move even slower. So I want Child 1 to stay young just a little longer and never grow up and leave me, so she is moving forward at the speed of light. And I want Husband  to come home now, so time is dragging its feet like an astronaut wearing gravity boots at sea level. Or a dinosaur. I'm still having trouble with that imagery. Which one is better? Dinosaur, I think. More heavy plodding.

People in this subdivision in California are having a worse day than me because their homes are sinking. Literally. Not, not because of debt; because the ground is swallowing them whole.

Eight homes have sunk so far and 10 others will have to be evacuated soon. No one is exactly sure why fissures in the ground are suddenly appearing but suspect it has something to do with water rising. Up a mountain. In a state where there is perpetual drought. My theory is dinosaurs. No, not really. I have no idea. I'm not a geologist. But I am really grateful that I have never had my house disappear from under my feet. I hope they have really, really good insurance. I'm not sure most homeowner's policies cover "swallowed by an extinct volcano." Excuse me while I go check mine.

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