Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Bad Day 211--All by myseeelllf!

I am on my own tonight, which actually means that I am spending the evening telling The Dog to get off me. It could be worse. She is obsessed with Child 1's pants and keeps licking them. I do not let the dog lick anything of mine, especially not my pants, so she knows to at least not do that. But being on my own means that I can do things like have a peppermint shake and tortilla chips for dinner, which I totally did.

Now I'm watching bad TV while under the covers because I am freezing. I have been cold all day because my office is freezing. It was so cold today I wore a wool skirt and I still had to wear my coat and two scarves. I have called maintenance twice, but there is apparently nothing they can do about the cold air blowing into my office. See, it's not lack of ventilation or poor ventilation that is the problem. My office has no window and is on an inside wall, so by all rights it should be a sauna. But there is a big vent right over my chair and it is blowing cold air right on me. I wore thick itchy wool today and it wasn't enough, so I'm convinced this is my next step.

There is nothing in that stupid dress code about wearing a snuggie and if anyone says it's unprofessional, then I will make them sit at my desk wearing the warmest wool suit they own and when their fingers turn blue and they are shivering like a bowl of jello, I will ask them if now it is OK for me to wear a snuggie and I will deduct it from my taxes as a business expense. Along with all the cold medicine I am going to need from getting sick from sitting under a freezing cold vent, which I can only assume will blow hot air during the summer. I love working at the Department, but it is a really old, really cranky building and there is no money in the budget to fix it.

Children in Australia are all having a worse day than me, at least on their birthdays.

See, this lovely tradition of blowing out candles on a birthday cake at school is now banned because the Australian National Health Council says it spreads germs. This is not just for classrooms that have children with immune deficiencies but for every single child in every single class. So my question for the National Health Council is, have they actually ever met any children? Because if they have, then they would know that eating paste and dirt and picking noses and using the bathroom without washing your hands are all happening at every moment of every day in elementary school and those are just a fraction of the things kids do to spread germs when they're not really trying. So thank you, entire country of Australia, for reminding me to be glad that I am not a helicopter parent hovering around my children swatting away imagined danger. A little germs on birthday cake is a small price to pay for happiness and oreos saved from the floor taste even better.


  1. Some offices have handy plastic diverters that the facilities folks can screw in near the vent to blow it off to the side instead of directly on you. I had them at FSI. Look around for an office with them so that you can show them what you want. Surely that's a reasonable accommodation so that you can perform satisfactorily. Between you and I though, it's ridiculous it's even an issue!

  2. If you don't have a thermostat in your office, then someone else is controlling your temperature. Balancing offices/large spaces on one "stat" can be very tricky. However, I know there is something that can be completely closing your vent so that no air is coming in. Then you might have the opposite problem. But this is the office you're moving *from*, right? This will be a temporary problem at most in that case.

    I like the air diverter idea, if they're available. On the other hand, you could be like Sir Isaac Newton and wear a fishbowl on your head to keep off the draft. At least, I THINK it was Newton. I bet your dress code doesn't say "empty fishbowls on noggins is strictly verboten." Is there any rule about clear and/or glass hats? ;-)

    Someone you know in the property management gig,