Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Bad Day 316--I also can't yodel

I do not know how to poach an egg. There. I said it. It's a horrible admission from someone who considers herself a great cook, but eggs scare me. Not scrambled, which I excel at, or omelets which are a breeze with a good pan, or even quiche, which I no longer make because I hate making pie crusts. And there is the whole wheat thing. The difference is, though, that I can make pie crusts, I just don't like to. But I cannot poach an egg. I have tried. Oh, how I have tried, but every single time it sort of ends up like egg drop soup only not as delicious because it's water not broth and it's very disappointing because I am so good at breakfast that I made up my own fried onions and bacon and potato side dish and Child 1 asked where I got the recipe and I said my head. She was impressed. This is what my poached eggs looked like last time I tried and it would not impress Child 1.

But I cannot poach eggs. However, I think I want to give it another go because eggs are one of the few things I can eat without fear and I love poached eggs. Especially with salmon. Or avocado. Or salmon and avocado? And English muffins! Those will be harder to replace with gluten-free, but I think I saw some in the frozen section, so I just might try something akin to Eggs Benedict this weekend, although I think I might just buy a Hollandaise sauce mix because Hollandaise scares me. Sense a theme here? That's why I was so proud of myself when I made that Avgolemono soup and it turned out perfectly the first time and I tempered the eggs like a pro and then the children hated it. So we'll see about the poached eggs.

This hit an run driver in England is having a worse day than me. This is her picture which she posted on Twitter.

As you know, I never, ever post pictures on Twitter. First because I don't take pictures, and second because my Twitter account is for getting school closing messages. I think the last thing I tweeted was a poem. Years ago. But in this age of over-sharing, this girl also Tweeted the fact that she hit a guy on a bicycle and she didn't stop AND she wasn't sorry. And some helpful people forwarded it to the police. Once she realized her tweet had gone viral, she deleted it, but she learned, as should we all, that nothing is ever really deleted. And the police tracked her down and are investigating her for a hit and run. So thank you, Ms. Twit, for reminding me to be grateful that I have never, ever hit someone with my car, and if I did, I would not leave the scene. I hit a cat once while going over a speed bump in my neighborhood. Even though the cat ran under the car and thus the wheel, I am still scarred by how awful that was so shame on you for hitting a human and not stopping!

And confidential to Child 2, I am only an awesome parent because I have awesome children! And I love you. Now it's time for bed.


  1. Thankfully, anticipated this post and wrote this article today, on how to do poached eggs.

    1. Sometimes, when Slate tells me I'm cooking something wrong, I get mad at them. But this time, they are completely correct in every way. Thanks for the tip!

  2. Have you seen Julie & Julia? Julie has a whole little bit on how to poach an egg. I wasn't personally too fond of Julie, but loved Julia and, well, you know, that whole FS aspect thing! Oh, and was there a bit about hollandaise? Anyway....