Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Bad Day 204--I am a billionaire in Vietnam

Today was a mix of good and bad, so I guess it was just a normal day like everyone else has whose husbands are not in Afghanistan, which is nice for a change. I'll give you the rundown.

Good--I left five minutes late but still made it to work 5 minutes early.

Bad--I didn't finish writing the paper I wanted to finish writing.

Good--One of the children brought in the trash cans from the curb so I didn't have to.

Bad--That same child didn't walk The Dog for long enough so she (The Dog, not the child) peed and pooped in my bathroom. Someone asked me today why I just didn't close and lock the door, but if you remember, The Dog (who is too dumb to not to know that when I am holding her by the leash and ringing the doorbell from outside the house it doesn't mean that some evil stranger is trying to break in,) has figured out how to open my bedroom door when it is locked.

Good--I went to a meeting for spouses of people on Unaccompanied Tours (which is what they call it when your husband leaves you for Afghanistan) and saw some old friends and made some new ones.

Bad--The Director General of the Foreign Service told me there was nothing the Department could do about the fact that I am using up all my leave taking care of my family while Husband is accruing like there is no tomorrow and cannot donate any of it to me. Guess who is going to all the orthodontist appointments next year? And all the parent teacher conferences, and everything else.

Good--Three people complimented me on my extremely stylish shoes.

Bad--I slammed my thumb in the door and it hurts.

Worse--I was wearing navy blue nylons with black pants the entire day and didn't even notice until I was at said meeting with the DG and I could see them in the light. Obviously, my bedroom and office lights are too dim. To everyone who was at the meeting, I apologize for my horrible sock violation.

The best part of the day, though, was talking with Husband on the phone during which conversation I said something that made him laugh for at least 5 minutes which was, "Even if the glass is half-empty, it still has water in it." See why he was laughing? For a minute there, I was an optimist and he was so surprised, he almost choked. He said that was the most optimistic thing I have ever said to him and I said no, that would have been yes, I will marry you. Then he was upset because he thought that was bad, but what he forgot was that he didn't actually mean to propose when he did. He opened his mouth to say something else which was probably going to be "pass me the remote" and he looked at me and was so in love that out came "will you marry me." Well, knowing that might be my only chance and being optimistic that he actually meant it, I said yes. Because who wouldn't want a man who was so overcome with love for you that he just couldn't hold back asking you to marry him? And also who chose you over the TV remote?

This thief in Louisiana is having a worse day than me. See if you can figure out why.


 Alleged Bucket-Wearing Burglar Caught by Police

Yes, that is an actual bucket on his head. You see, he went to rob the seafood restaurant where he had previously worked, but forgot a mask so he grabbed this bucket and put it on his head. The only problem was, he couldn't really see so he kept lifting up the bucket to peek and he must have forgotten that the restaurant had security cameras because they caught it all on tape and the police arrested him a short time later. So thank you, Mr. Buckethead, for reminding everyone on the internet how ridiculous it is to think you can see through a bucket and also to be grateful for my fabulous job. Even though I have no vacation days left, I still love what I do and it pays more than robbing seafood restaurants does. (See, Husband? Glass is not completely empty yet.) And thank you to "Sherry" who suggested this story. Brilliant.

1 comment:

  1. I know it's a little late for this, but we Skyped Peter in to both conferences (for Kelsey & Nick). Kelsey's teacher just about lost it, she was so excited and Nick's teacher was equally as amazed.

    No way I was letting Peter out of that one! Oh, actually, Peter just conferenced into Nick's call. He had the time wrong, so had to call in from work and couldn't skype as it would be over by the time he got to his hooch.

    P.S. Good to see you, too, and we need to do Pho or something again soon!

    Anyway, if any more come up...send him via Skype!