Thursday, September 13, 2012

Bad Day 65--I want to be a Hiro

I'm sitting in the high school parking lot trying to figure out how to split myself in two. Not literally because I know a god buzz saw would do it, but figuratively. You see, it's back to school night and I am supposed to go to my children's classes to meet their teachers. Simple, you're thinking, but then you haven't sen our back to school nights which are highly scheduled (down to the minute) and designed by people who have only one child and unlimited amounts of time. There are seven periods of 15 minutes each and I need to meet 14 teachers.

I told the children that whoever did the most chores, I wouldn't talk to any of her teachers. But this is unfair because Child 2 totally did the most chores and she actually wants me to meet her teachers. So I'm thinking 4 of hers and 3 of Child 1's. Or maybe I'll just skip the whole thing and hang out at Starbucks and pretend I actually went. They'll never know if you don't tell them.

These are the times when I miss husband the most because we could double team and then compare notes after. How was the band teacher? Crazy, but what is the history syllabus like? I suppose I could carry him around on Skype but that would eat up a lot of phone battery and ask my data and also would be no help at all. So if someone has one of those time turners from Harry Potter I could borrow, I'd appreciate it. Also, if I had one of those, I could take a nap. I miss taking naps. It's the best thing about having a baby--naptime!

But since I couldn't manage to stop time, I went to 3 of Child 1's classes and 4 of Child 2's and I think that was fair. What was supremely unfair is that I got blisters from all the running back and forth and I had forgotten how crowded high school hallways could be. Imagine this only with double the people because most of the kids had two parents there.

And the layout of the school makes it easy to go back and forth, right? Wrong! A 5 year old child with Legos would do a better job of designing a school. This one has rabbit warren corridors and hallways to nowhere. And I swear they move, just like in Harry Potter. All in all, not the most fun way to spend an evening, but rather instructive because every single teacher said they have homework every single night so now when I ask if they have homework and they say no, I will know for certain that they are lying. (I knew before, but now I have proof!)

The guy who used a BMW to break into an Apple store is having a worse day than me.

Temecula Apple Store burglary

First, he got two flat tires, second, he left his license plate at the scene, and third, he staged the break-in only a week before the iPhone 5 launch and now the phones aren't worth that much anyway. So thank you, clueless burglar, for reminding me to be grateful that I will never, ever be that dumb. 

1 comment:

  1. Ah, feel your pain on the back to school nights. Had three in a row this week (elementary, freshman orientation, Montessori school). Actually, since it was *only* freshman parent orientation this week (which was a painful 2 hours), I get to go back in two weeks for the actual real parents night.

    Fun! At least I'll be able to Skype in the hubby from Kabul for the parent-teacher excuse on that one!