I'm sitting here in the nail salon enjoying a pedicure which is the only thing I have done purely for myself in months and it's lovely and relaxing until Child 3 calls me up to yell at me. This is the problem with modern technology--it it's now impossible to hide from your children. I suppose I could have turned off the phone, but then I would have nothing to play Angry Birds on while I'm waiting for the polish to dry. There is this commercial on the radio every five minutes that brags about how they can turn your TV into a phone and your computer into a TV and your phone into a remote which I think is a horrible idea because why on earth would you ever want to be accessible to everyone all the time wherever you are and also I would hate it if I were trying to text someone and accidentally started recording "Jersey Shore" instead which is totally what would happen if bought that service.
I should mention that Child 3 was yelling because she is grounded from TV and she is bored to death and she will positively absolutely die if she doesn't find something to do and can't I come home and entertain her. No, I cannot. I am trying to have my first hour of solitude and pampering since Husband left the first time for Afghanistan and it is now ruined. She is also angry because I left in the morning to take Child 2 to a fundraising car wash and then I went grocery shopping and then I took Child 1 car shopping and why does she have to stay home all the time and she is so booooored!
About the car shopping, I hate care shopping. Does anyone actually enjoy shopping for a car? I am a shopper by nature and I love a bargain hunt, but buying something as expensive as a car gives me heartburn and I would really rather have all my fingernails pulled off except that we really need a second car so that Child 1 can use it to drive her sisters around when she gets her license next week. So we are scouring the area for a car that is cheap, reliable, and doesn't smell like fish and isn't sold by some icky dealership that has an annoying actor in a cowboy hat trying to pretend he is a good ol' southern boy when really he is an actor from New Jersey. Or some disgusting schmoozy salesman who keeps pretending we are best friends. Wish me luck.
These two men in Colombia are having a worse day than me. They both swallowed a bunch of money wrapped in latex that amounted to over $80,000. They were caught when the arrived in Bogota, apparently looking very ill and were fed lots of laxatives. First, ick. Second, they are going to be charged with money laundering. It seems to me that what they did was pretty much the exact opposite of money "laundering" but that is what the authorities want to do. So thank you, money smugglers, for reminding me to be grateful that my money is in a bank and not in my stomach. I feel so bad for the poor policeman who had to wash that stuff off. Double ick.
I should mention that Child 3 was yelling because she is grounded from TV and she is bored to death and she will positively absolutely die if she doesn't find something to do and can't I come home and entertain her. No, I cannot. I am trying to have my first hour of solitude and pampering since Husband left the first time for Afghanistan and it is now ruined. She is also angry because I left in the morning to take Child 2 to a fundraising car wash and then I went grocery shopping and then I took Child 1 car shopping and why does she have to stay home all the time and she is so booooored!
About the car shopping, I hate care shopping. Does anyone actually enjoy shopping for a car? I am a shopper by nature and I love a bargain hunt, but buying something as expensive as a car gives me heartburn and I would really rather have all my fingernails pulled off except that we really need a second car so that Child 1 can use it to drive her sisters around when she gets her license next week. So we are scouring the area for a car that is cheap, reliable, and doesn't smell like fish and isn't sold by some icky dealership that has an annoying actor in a cowboy hat trying to pretend he is a good ol' southern boy when really he is an actor from New Jersey. Or some disgusting schmoozy salesman who keeps pretending we are best friends. Wish me luck.
These two men in Colombia are having a worse day than me. They both swallowed a bunch of money wrapped in latex that amounted to over $80,000. They were caught when the arrived in Bogota, apparently looking very ill and were fed lots of laxatives. First, ick. Second, they are going to be charged with money laundering. It seems to me that what they did was pretty much the exact opposite of money "laundering" but that is what the authorities want to do. So thank you, money smugglers, for reminding me to be grateful that my money is in a bank and not in my stomach. I feel so bad for the poor policeman who had to wash that stuff off. Double ick.
The offer to adopt any and all of your children is now revised. Adoption is still an option, but now it will cost.
ReplyDeleteThe good news, of course, is that you could buy a smaller car.
xoxo,
-A