Saturday, January 19, 2013

Bad Day 193--Bless my beautiful hide

I am having movie night by myself. I am supposed to be watching a movie with the children, but they are upstairs playing on the Wii completely oblivious to the fact that they ditched me for Go Vacation or whatever it's called. So I'm watching Seven Brides for Seven Brothers all alone. This is not the kind of movie that's meant to be watched alone. It's meant to be watched with someone who knows all the words and can laugh at the terrible dialogue and love the dancing scenes. It's an absurd movie and more misogynistic than I had remembered. But I still love it.

My sisters and I used to watch it together. We loved it so much, that Sister 2 and I made up a ficticious character based on one of the lines in the movie. Years ago, when I was still single, if someone asked for my name and I didn't want to give it to them, I would occasionally say my name was Martha Ruth. Martha Ruth Smith, to be exact. If you don't get the Martha Ruth reference, you should know that in the movie, someone says "Eliza, Martha, Ruth! Fetch some blankets!" And sister 2 thought Martha Ruth was one person and that was a terrible name to give a child. So then that was the name we used. Along with Bertha Martha Schwartzenheimer, which I'm pretty sure gave the hint that I wasn't interested.

I have a pile of laundry the size of Mt. Vesuvius on my bed, so I'd better get to work. The children refuse to fold any of it, so I think I'm just going to throw it on the floor of their rooms, which is where it would end up anyway, so what's the point of folding it at all?

This gem wholesaler from New Jersey is having a worse day than me. He left a bag of diamonds in his rental car at a restaurant in Florida for about 15 minutes and when he came out to get them the bag was gone, and so were $400,000 worth of diamonds.

I have never had $400,000 worth of anything in my possession ever, but you can be sure if I did, I wouldn't leave it in plain sight on the seat of a rental car. He must have been really hungry or really had to use the restroom, or really insured because that was a pretty careless thing to do. So thank you, Mr. Hungry Wholesaler, for reminding me to be grateful that all the diamonds I own fit on one finger, and that finger goes with me everywhere, even to fold the laundry.


  1. The next time you want to watch that flick, let me know. I LOVE it!!!


  2. Hee hee hee! Besides being sillier than when we were young, I would NEVER give up my life to marry a guy I just met. Brave soul!!!!!

    And don't forget Owudunni Phineas, which would be an awful name for a boy. Did we ever give him a last name? Remember when Bertha Martha filled out that singles dating form? She had no preferences, except that he be male. And she spent a lot of time in the Galapagos Islands with the turtles.

    As for folding so much could let the girls do that. I was supposed to at that age and lived with wrinkled laundry. I eventually got used to it, which I don't think was the point....

    Sister 2, Extraodinaire*


    1. I had completely forgotten about poor Owudunni Phineas. What an awful name we gave him! I wonder if he ever recovered, and I don't remember his surname. Did he have one. Maybe he can marry Martha Ruth Smith and take her last name.

      And they will only fold the laundry if by "fold" you mean dump in a pile on the floor of their room.