Today was cold. Bitter cold. Wind chill -5 F cold. So it was time to dig out my ugly coat. I know, you are thinking, how ugly could this coat be? Well let me tell you, it is bag lady ugly. It was one of those coats that look good online and it's color was misleadingly labeled "mushroom" but when it arrived in the mail, I discovered that "mushroom" was a euphemism for "this coat is the color of dirt." These mushrooms would have made a much more attractive coat.
The problem was, I bought it when I was living in China and it was too much trouble to send it back and it also happened to arrive during a freezing cold spell when I broke my ankle by slipping on black ice. So the coat is mine to keep and I wear it only when I really have to because it is so ugly but it is as warm as a fire. I'm not kidding. This coat would melt a snowman in below zero weather. It is rated by its manufacturer to -20 Fahrenheit and I will take their word for it because if it is ever that cold, I am not going outside. But today, I was warm everywhere my coat was and cold everywhere it wasn't. Luckily, or perhaps strategically, it is a very long coat because one thing I learned from living in Norway is that the longer the coat, the warmer you stay. So with my velvet blazer (which I must admit was made by a British designer because they do know their blazers) and my jaunty brown herringbone hat that Sis-in-law 3 gave me and my chocolate fake-pashmina shawl which is probably polyester because I bought it in China, I was at least fashionable everywhere else but my coat. Tomorrow, I am breaking out the flannel skirt and another blazer and some wool tights because it is supposed to be equally as cold. I hate cold weather. I'm so ready for winter to be over and next time I bid it will be on tropical posts because I hate that coat.
A couple of good things happened today. First, a friend at work who doesn't really know my children said that I was a good mother. I told her she thought that because I was good at faking it when the children weren't around. She said, "you can't really fake warmth." She is a very nice person and good for my ego. And then, when I came home and said I wasn't feeling well, Child 3 gave me a hug and Child 2 said is it a purple day or a sick day and when I said a sick day she said that was good, not good good but she was happy it wasn't purple. And Child 1 made us all laugh at dinner by ranting about that Train Wreck TV show which she hates but we can't stop watching. I love my children. They so know how to cheer me up.
So milk for dinner and now bed because the nausea is back and the room is spinning a little. I'm wearing Husband's turtleneck because our room is really cold and also it smells like him. And I am going to bed early with the knowledge that this woman in St. George, Utah is having a worse day than me. See if you can guess why.
Yes, that is a boulder and that is her bed it landed on, and yes, she was in it at the time. Thankfully, she only broke her jaw and sternum, although that should be bad enough, but it could have killed her. I don't know what she did to anger the boulder but it seriously looks as if it was out to get her. So thank you, Mrs. Rock Magnet, for reminding me to be grateful we are on the top of a hill and there are no boulders in sight. Also, my bedroom is on the second floor, so it would be really hard to crash into it, unless you're in a plane or helicopter. Great. Something else to worry about.
The problem was, I bought it when I was living in China and it was too much trouble to send it back and it also happened to arrive during a freezing cold spell when I broke my ankle by slipping on black ice. So the coat is mine to keep and I wear it only when I really have to because it is so ugly but it is as warm as a fire. I'm not kidding. This coat would melt a snowman in below zero weather. It is rated by its manufacturer to -20 Fahrenheit and I will take their word for it because if it is ever that cold, I am not going outside. But today, I was warm everywhere my coat was and cold everywhere it wasn't. Luckily, or perhaps strategically, it is a very long coat because one thing I learned from living in Norway is that the longer the coat, the warmer you stay. So with my velvet blazer (which I must admit was made by a British designer because they do know their blazers) and my jaunty brown herringbone hat that Sis-in-law 3 gave me and my chocolate fake-pashmina shawl which is probably polyester because I bought it in China, I was at least fashionable everywhere else but my coat. Tomorrow, I am breaking out the flannel skirt and another blazer and some wool tights because it is supposed to be equally as cold. I hate cold weather. I'm so ready for winter to be over and next time I bid it will be on tropical posts because I hate that coat.
A couple of good things happened today. First, a friend at work who doesn't really know my children said that I was a good mother. I told her she thought that because I was good at faking it when the children weren't around. She said, "you can't really fake warmth." She is a very nice person and good for my ego. And then, when I came home and said I wasn't feeling well, Child 3 gave me a hug and Child 2 said is it a purple day or a sick day and when I said a sick day she said that was good, not good good but she was happy it wasn't purple. And Child 1 made us all laugh at dinner by ranting about that Train Wreck TV show which she hates but we can't stop watching. I love my children. They so know how to cheer me up.
So milk for dinner and now bed because the nausea is back and the room is spinning a little. I'm wearing Husband's turtleneck because our room is really cold and also it smells like him. And I am going to bed early with the knowledge that this woman in St. George, Utah is having a worse day than me. See if you can guess why.
Yes, that is a boulder and that is her bed it landed on, and yes, she was in it at the time. Thankfully, she only broke her jaw and sternum, although that should be bad enough, but it could have killed her. I don't know what she did to anger the boulder but it seriously looks as if it was out to get her. So thank you, Mrs. Rock Magnet, for reminding me to be grateful we are on the top of a hill and there are no boulders in sight. Also, my bedroom is on the second floor, so it would be really hard to crash into it, unless you're in a plane or helicopter. Great. Something else to worry about.
Oh, phooey. I *know* your children and I think you're a good mother.
ReplyDeleteIf nothing else, you've never given in to my offers to buy one or two of them off of you.
xoxo,
Artemis