To all the children out there who read this blog, here are some surefire ways to annoy your parents who have been nice enough to take you out to dinner at a restaurant to make up for the fact that they missed your play because it was at 1 pm in the middle of a work day.
- Poke each other loudly and often when you first sit down.
- Make loud humpback whale sounds while you are waiting for the food.
- Complain about being given the kids' menu when you're not under 12. Over and over again. And again. Oh, and again.
- Talk about how much you love the New England Patriots who are not the Dallas Cowboys, will never be the Dallas Cowboys and to whom you have no connection having never been to New England. And your mother, btw, is from Dallas. Texas. And is a Cowboys fan just in case you didn't catch that.
This boy in Spain is having a worse day than me. He has apparently been doing pretty poorly in school and his teacher called his parents in for a conference. Instead of facing up to the trouble, he did what any 11 year old child of a policeman would do and faked his own kidnapping. He sent his parents a text saying he was in the trunk of a car. However, his policeman father noticed that the keys to a spare apartment they owned were missing and they discovered the boy there who fessed up to the whole thing. And his parents still went to talk to the teacher and I'm pretty sure there was more punishment besides just that. So thank you, Spanish 5th grader, for reminding me to be grateful that no teacher will ever call my parents and get me in trouble ever again. I went through my share of that and now it's my turn to get the phone calls from teachers. I promise, children, I will never yell at you when your teacher calls. But if you fake your own kidnapping, there will be lots, and lots of yelling.